‘JANI AND OMPH

                  An Abridged Parody of Role-play

Narrator 1: So…we come across these two star-crossed lovers who died like in one of William Shakespeare’s plays waaay back in the spring time. Mhm, when Ajani arrived at Omphale’s temporary palace out in ______since Omphale’s playa never got that creative on specific locations.

Narrator 2: What?! They weren’t star-crossed! They never died, how the hell can you say that?!

Narrator 1: Okay! Fine! We come across two really tall creatures who turned out to be lovers…happy now?

Narrator 2: No, you haven’t finished narrating, asshole.

Narrator 1:…And so, with Ajani’s determination to turn Omphale into his own personal femme-bot….

Narrator 2: …That’s not how it goes!

Narrator 1: ..He started his plan to take over the world.

Narrator 2: That’s it, I quit…

Exeunt Narrator 2 who apparently put his resignation in upon his above statement.

The Palace of Omphale, a dark and alluring place full of beauty- surprisingly, though blood pools and fountains lingered along with necromancy-like objects. Omphale stand before a waterfall within one of the rooms, staring up at the stars. Ajani enters via sky- he has wings you know.

Ajani’s thoughts: Hmm, a woman. A really, really tall woman. Why the hell doesn’t she appear so feminine and all…woman-bearing like? I bet she gives great helmet.

Omphale continues to stand, until Ajani makes some sort of noise, which resembles a grunt. Moving to withdraw her sword she thinks before acting.

Omphale’s thoughts: Ooh! A man, in my palace…A man…in my palace…..Grrr…I shall slice him in pieces before he say one word. But…what if he should fall submissive to me? Thaha! I shall beat him with a golden sandal.

Ajani, after reading Omphale’s thoughts, speaks.

Ajani: Hello. You sexy, sexy kitten. Wouldn’t you like to come over here so I can help you?

Omphale: I do not understand half your words, man! Who are you? How the hell did you get into my palace?!

Ajani: So demanding…I know that you really require my help.

He begins to release pheromones and his mojo into the air to attempt to seduce her into getting some helmet.

Omphale: I do not need any …..ahhhh…..help from a male! You are lowly and beneath me.

Ajani: I know what you desire, I can give you what you want…

Omphale: I hate you! And yet….you have the most delicious body I have ever seen….

Omphale moans and drags him to the floor….the lights fade, well needless to say Ajani didn’t get helmet that time, but he did score a home run.

Next we see Omphale laying in the center of the room on a very exquisite ottoman in front of a chaise lounge covered in obsidian velvet. Dressed as she had been previously in a short white chiton that revealed her thighs.